Sunday, January 31, 2010

the secret

I wear this locket everyday. When Marci gave it to me, she thought I didn’t like it. I’ve never worn a locket before. It’s interesting how people respond to it. This week, at least four women have commented, asking, “so what’s inside?” “Oh nothing,” I say. “Is it a photo of Bob?" they ask. "Is it a photo of... (name anything... a favorite pet, a photo of yourself as a child, a favorite XYZ?" One person came close to reaching over and opening it while my hands and mouth were occupied with creamy, dreamy, tiramisu. Now my answer is: it’s a secret.

The locket of course holds our dearest wish. It holds a photograph of one of two embryos implanted on January 4. Like a sacred talisman, the locket hangs between my (growing) breasts, close to my heart. It reminds me to keep myself open to whatever the future holds; child or no child. It reminds me that it will all be alright. And it reminds me, constantly, of the possibility inside.

The doctor moved my ultrasound up from week 7-1/2 to week 6-1/2. I'll have a blood test tomorrow to check the numbers followed by an ultrasound Wednesday -- which is when we’ll know if all is well. Stay tuned.

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