leaving

I have a lawn for the first time -- how suburban! I felt proud on Sunday somehow, with the borrowed electric weed whacker, cutting the overgrown grass, keeping things trimmed, the wire cutting off anything unnecessary. Lots of cutting and tossing... the bag of clothes last week (and NO I'm not keeping the ones that I MAY need because my belly MAY someday get bigger because I MAY get pregnant... 9 years of MAYBE). NOW I am a size 6. Now I have a flat belly, and heck, why not enjoy it! Bring on the skinny jeans! Out with the clothes, off with the hair (to be cut tonight). I'm thinking of bringing my locket with me on vacation: the one that had the secret photo of our embryo inside. Not sure yet how it feels to bring an EMPTY locket -- one just cleared and ready for the next wish?

hugs to you

just to let you know, I"m taking a break from the blog for 4 weeks -- vacation, moving, etc..... but will be back soon, and hopefully it will finally be summer here by the time we get back!

P.S. a poem for today:
"I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit."

— Dawna Markova